Lovesick Lullabies: 30day Songfic Challenge
by lostsoul512
Summary: "Funny how such a beautiful song could tell such a sad story." Series of oneshots surrounding Arthas Menethil and Jaina Proudmoore. Done for the 30day songfic challenge.
1. One Sail- Meg and Dia

**A/N: I decided to do the 30day songfic challenge because I like to procrastinate on things I'm actually supposed to be writing. Also, it's been a while since I've been around fanfic. So, all my chapters are going to focus on my current otp, JainaxArthas. It was bound to happen. Anyway, I don't own Warcraft or anything. **

_Our love is growing upside down_

_They say you'll never make it home_

_But I will wait_

_Won't bury your clothes_

…

With her fingers resting delicately on the wooden edge of the ship, Jaina Proudmoore stared off into the endless blue waters of the Great Sea. The wind tugged at the skirts of her robes and at her golden blonde hair, sending a few stray strands dancing wildly around her face. The air was crisp and stung her exposed skin, but she hardly noticed the pain. She had been all over these waters throughout her life, and still she had never felt so very overwhelmed and unwelcome as she did in that moment.

After the first few months, the nightmares had finally stopped coming each night. Jaina had stopped recalling the sight of blood as it clung to each blade of grass, the vivid smell of death that lingered in the air. The memories had stopped replaying themselves constantly in her mind, and she was able to find sleep once more. After a few more months, she was almost able to pretend her life had gone back to normal, at least as much as it possibly could after what she had endured. She could lose herself in her books and spells, lock herself in her chambers and cease to remember the world outside.

Now, six years later, all of those carefully repressed memories were being dragged back to the surface again in but a single moment. She should have known when Varian Wrynn had arrived in Theramore that it would not bode well for her. She should have seen it in his carefully held gaze, his dark eyes that he couldn't seem to make meet her own. She should have known, when he so softly asked for her help, like he was afraid of her answer.

She could have said no.

_Should _have said no.

But Jaina knew all too well that where Arthas Menethil was concerned, saying no had never been an option.

And so, there she stood, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the rail of the ship and tried to fight off the siege of painful memories threatening to break through her carefully constructed mental barriers.

_It isn't Arthas anymore_. That was her mantra, the one thought she had to keep repeating to herself, over and over and over, until it was the only thing she knew, until it consumed her entirely. _It isn't really Arthas_. The things the Lich King had done, the innocent lives he had so mercilessly taken, _her_ Arthas never could have done those things. This was just some imposter posing as her lost love. No, _her _Arthas was dead.

That particular thought stung deeper than she wanted it to.

A sudden, gentle hand on her shoulder drew her back into reality, and for possibly the first time since they had left Stormwind Harbor, she felt the icy air nip at her face. A shiver coursed through her body as she forced herself to turn away from the vast expanses of water, finding herself face to face with Varian. The king was wrapped in a thick cloak, doing his best to ignore the temperatures that were plummeting further with every nautical mile they sailed. Still he looked as regal as ever, even with his brow furrowed in concern for his friend.

"Are you alright, Jaina?" He murmured quietly, his steely eyes boring into her. Jaina was forced to lower her own blue eyes to her feet, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of his question. Such simple words, but of course it was the hardest thing she had ever been asked. No, she was not okay. How could she be? They were sailing to Northrend with the intention of slaying the only man she had ever loved. The man she had intended to spend her life with, until fate had stepped in and decided it had other plans.

"I'm fine," she assured him. All the spells that she could conjure up, and still she could not manage to summon some confidence to her voice. Tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, dampened by the sea spray, Jaina mustered the best smile she could manage. It was weak, at best, and the brunette before her looked less than convinced. She was glad when her old friend stopped peering at her so cautiously, and instead took a place at her side, his own eyes fixating on something far off, something that probably didn't even exist. "I'll just be happy to be on land."

Varian could not resist smirking just slightly at her. "Don't tell me the daughter of the great Admiral Proudmoore is feeling sea sick," he teased. It was a feeble attempt to lighten the mood, because he just could not fathom how hard this must have been for her. He had known Jaina, and Arthas for that matter, since they were all children. They had grown up together. They had played together. And now, he and Jaina were on their way to confront Arthas and make him atone for his crimes against Azeroth.

_No,_ he thought firmly. _This isn't Arthas anymore. _

Still, his attempts are cheering her up worked, if only for a moment. She returned his grin, but it quickly faded back to the sullen expression she had worn since he had come to summon her from Theramore. Jaina became aware then of the king's heavy hand falling over the top of her own. It was calloused from years of bearing a weapon, of defending his people, his kingdom, his very beliefs. Varian had always had a habit of being overly concerned and comforting, just as Jaina had always had a habit of acting like she was okay when in reality she was on the verge of shattering.

"We'll be making port soon," the dark haired man told her. "I promise."

The mage nodded slowly and resisted the urge to pull away from his touch. "We will do what we have to," she said, her words a mere whisper. "And then we will go home." But Arthas, _her _Arthas, he would never make it home. She could pretend, she could so easily play out in her head a thousand impossible scenarios in which he came back to her. But they were nothing but fantasies, and when she reminded herself that she was harboring dreams about a crazed murderer, she felt her cheeks flush with shame. For she too had gone to great lengths to protect her people, just as Varian had, and so the idea of ever reconciling with the Lich King was preposterous.

The king had pulled away, and for a moment she thought he might have gone. But when she glanced over, she saw him there, that same steely gaze transfixed on her. "Jaina...if you think you cannot…" He trailed off, unsure of what else he could possibly say. He had run out of comforting words years ago, when he had come to accept the fact that there was just nothing to be said that would ever make her aching stop.

After six years, Jaina had gotten good at lying to everyone. But Varian Wrynn saw right through the fake smile she had plastered to her face, caught the way her voice rose a few octaves too high when she answered. "I'll be fine," she squeaked, the words cracking near the end. Still, he chose not to say anything more, to turn away and leave her alone on the deck of the ship, staring out at the open waters as if she might find the answers to her lingering questions floating below the surface.

Only when she was alone did Jaina allow a single tear roll down her cheek. In that one tear, she wept for all that she had lost, for all that her people had lost. She wept for the dead of Lordaeron, for their fallen dynasty. She wept for the loss of innocence, for the memories she clung to so dearly of her lazy summer days spent running free with Arthas. _Her _Arthas. And as Northrend loomed closer, she braced herself for the coming fight, vowing to leave her heart behind on the shoreline as they plunged into the wintry depths of the frozen wasteland.

She took a long, shaky breath, trying to gather her composure. When the first spires of the mountains came into view against the clouded horizon, Jaina wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "Arthas," she whispered into the air. "I'm coming for you." The words were lost to the swirling snowy winds, and for the briefest of seconds Jaina almost hoped he could hear them wherever he was.


	2. First Time In Forever (Reprise)- Frozen

**A/N: First off, thanks for the positive feedback I have gotten so far. This is my first time writing Jaina-centric stories, and also the first time I have shared any of my Warcraft fanfic with the world. So it is really encouraging to see it being received well, and I do hope to hear more in the near future. Maybe then I will feel confident enough to share my massive project I've been working on the past few months. Anyway, this ended up being way longer than I intended it to be, so if you're still reading this little note, go you! I was really, really excited that this song shuffled for the challenge, because it gives me all of the feelings. Here goes nothing. **

…

_For the first time in forever, I finally understand_

_For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand_

_We can head down this mountain together_

_You don't have to live in fear_

_For the first time in forever, I will be right here_

…

Her lungs should have given out ages ago. It was about the only coherent thought that Jaina could form as she pushed her body harder, her feet pounding against the cold stone floors of the corridor as she ran. The rest of her thoughts were a tangled mess of pain and confusion and fear. All these emotions she had never expected to associate with Arthas; but then, it wasn't Arthas that was chasing her and the small band of allies down the narrow hallway of the Citadel. It was the Lich King, and there had never been a more appropriate time in her life to be so afraid.

"How long can you fight?" The dark, bellowing voice rang out, seeming to echo inside her head. Jaina did her best to shut him out, just keep pushing herself, keep breathing even though the frosty air stung at her throat and seared her lungs more and more with each inhale.

Finally, the tunnel gave way to an opening, revealing the star-speckled sky of Northrend, stretched over the looming mountains. "There is an opening!" The mage cried desperately to the brave heroes that had dared to venture here alongside her on her selfish quest. Now that last attempt to cling onto any hope of redeeming Arthas seemed lost, and she felt foolish for ever believing that her lover still resided in the frozen shell of the Lich King's intricate armor.

And yet, the words which Uther had spoken to her in those few brief moments still replayed in her mind, over and over, clawing at her. _The piece of Arthas that might still be inside the Lich King is all that holds the Scourge from annihilating all of Azeroth_. Even the former paladin had acknowledged that there had to be at least a shred of the lost prince remaining. There had to be something left. There just had to be. She refused to believe he was gone forever. And as long as she believed it existed, Jaina knew that she would never fully give up on him.

"Go, now!" She shouted over the sound of Arthas' heavy footfalls and her own rapid heartbeat. She watched as each of the allies bolted to the opening, emerging into the light. Then, all at once, she skidded to a stop and spun around to face the Lich King head on. She summoned what little confidence she had left and used it to give a steady glare at the fast approaching death knight.

"Nowhere to run," he said in a sickly malicious voice. Behind her, she was vaguely aware of the others calling to her, but she shut them out. A part of her knew that she was supposed to be guiding them and making sure they made it out of these forsaken halls alive. But a whole other part of her was too transfixed on the place where the Lich King now stood, his eerie blue eyes boring into her, to even register anything else.

A cold, hollow laugh escaped his lips. "You're mine now."

"Arthas," Jaina blurted out frantically. His name felt so safe and familiar on her lips, a name she had spoken a thousand times, a name that still had the power to make her stomach twist. "Arthas, please. You don't have to do this."

She was expecting him to charge her down, to drive his infamous sword straight through her. Instead, the towering man slowed his steps to a halt where he stood. From under the terrifying twisted plate of his helm, Jaina swore she saw his eyes narrow just slightly at the sound of her voice. The mage didn't realize she had been holding her breath until she was forced to gasp for air, the cold the filled the corridor spilling forth into her, threatening to freeze over her facade of bravery.

"Arthas," she tried again slowly, testing, drawing out his name as long as possible. "Please. Let me help you." He still hadn't moved, still stood there staring at her like she was some unimaginable creature he didn't have the slightest idea what to do with. Jaina realized all too quickly that this was her only hope of surviving this ordeal. And underneath that want to make it out alive, there was more; there was the glimmer of hope that the reason he had stopped his advances was because _her_ Arthas was still in there, and he was listening, and he was trying desperately to fight back and protect her from the monster that had taken him over.

"I- I understand this isn't easy for you," she ventured carefully, treading lightly, knowing that at any moment she could say the wrong thing and he would kill her. Jaina may have been overly optimistic at time, but she was not delusional. As much as she wanted to believe that he would never hurt her, she knew the reality of the situation. "Arthas. We can go back to Stormwind together. We can fix this somehow. I know we can. _Please_." Her voice rose to a near whine on the last word, a final begging need for him to just listen to her, just this once. If there was anything left of the man she loved, of the man that loved her, she needed to draw him out now before the fleeting moment had passed.

For a long moment, there was only silence, interrupted occasionally by the sound of her short, frenzied breaths. His glowing eyes blazing, Jaina slowly clenched her hands at her side, the incantations of a spell ready to form on her lips in case her plan had fallen through. But then, his lips parted, and in a soft voice he murmured a single word. "Jaina…"

The blonde felt her heart crumble in her chest at the defeated way with which he spoke her name. She had to force herself to remain grounded, instead of running to throw herself at him as she had so often dreamt of doing since the day she had walked away from him for the final time. "Arthas," she whispered giddily. A few tears stung at her eyes and in spite of the severity of the situation, she could not prevent a grin from tugging at the corners of her lips. For the first time in forever, she had a chance of reclaiming all that she had lost. "Arthas, I knew you were-"

"Jaina," he said again, cutting her off. She watched as he hesitantly brought his hands up and removed the helmet that had concealed his face from her all this time. The made was just barely able to hold back a gasp at the sight of her former lover. Gone were his golden locks of hair and the natural blush of his porcelain skin. Left in their wake, there was only the faded remains of the prince, ashy, straggly strands that clung to the sides of his face, pallid, cracked skin stretched over jutting bones. And those eyes that she had so loved, that she had stared into and found her future, were a frosty blue that promised nothing to her but misery. "Jaina, please go back home."

She was shaking her head before he even finished. "I wont leave you!" She snapped, almost harsher than she had intended. She flinched when she saw him recoil at her demanding tone.

A flicker of an emotion crossed his face, looking strangely close to regret, but it was gone before she could be sure it had even been there at all. "I know you mean well, Jaina, but you have to leave me." The words sounded pained as they filled the frigid air of the hallowed hall. Jaina felt her chest tighten and constrict with a thousand feelings she had spent so many years trying hard to push aside and ignore. A thousand memories of him, and the visions of all they could have been came rising up to the surface. "Just stay away. It's the only way you'll be safe from me."

Actually, they were far from safe. The power of the Scourge forces was far reaching and destroyed all it came into contact with. But Jaina had the feeling he already knew this. She wasn't sure if it was her that he was trying to convince, or himself.

_Arthas. _

The dark, haunting sound of an abysmal voice echoed, but only for him to hear. The death knight tried in vain to ignore it, but it was too strong, too loud.

_Arthas. Kill her. _

Jaina watched from where she stood as his expression changed quickly, first to fear and then to something darker, a scowl overtaking his features as he stared back at her. In a last summoning of courage, the mage took a small step towards him, her hand raised, extended to him in an offering. "You don't have to be afraid, Arthas. We can work this out together."

_Take her soul, Arthas. KILL HER NOW. _

"Shut up!" He roared loudly, his hands shooting up to grasp hysterically at his temples, tugging at tangled hair. He was such a fool, to give into her gently spoken words and promises. There was no saving him, not anymore. He was a lost soul, bound to this hell of an existence for all eternity. There was no escaping from this storm that raged inside of him, this ever-constant need for more, always more. There was no controlling this curse. He was powerless to do anything.

Jaina ached as she watched his evident struggle, inching forward a few more steps. "Don't panic-"

"Jaina, please!" Arthas shouted, his gaze snapping up to meet her own. His eyes flashed for a moment, the icy azure giving way to reveal a terrified look. He would not hurt her. He refused to bring her any harm. But she needed to get out before he became unable to resist the urges, the raw need that resonated within him. "You'll only make it worse!"

The tears that she had been resisting finally broke free, rolling down her flushed cheeks, practically freezing on impact. Frozen tears that would never thaw. Not when she had finally seen that Arthas was still in there, still fighting, and now he was being ripped away from her all over again.

In a last pursuit of salvaging what she could of him, Jaina stretched out her trembling hand as far as she could, silently willing him to take it. "Everything will be alright," she whispered, or maybe only thought she did, because she wasn't sure any sound actually passed through her lips. "We can change this-"

Now it was Arthas who was shaking his head wildly, causing his hair to whip around his face. And then he was lifting the helmet up, up, and she was crying so hard the sobs shook her body, and she was watching her last hope disappear right in front of her eyes. For a single second, he held her gaze. "I cant," he said, the tone of his voice sounding almost apologetic, and then slipped the black armor back over his head.

As the Lich King began to close in on her once more, the hiss of metal against metal indicating that he had drawn Frostmourne from her sheath, Jaina felt a pair of warm hands wrap around her wrist. She was helpless, unable to resist as she was pulled away, barely even aware that she was moving except for the fact that Arthas was getting further and further away with each passing second. The ally that had returned for her led her to the opening, up the ramp of their waiting escape ship, and all that she could do was follow along, saying sorry over and over until she could no longer speak, watching Arthas disappear with whatever had remained of her fractured heart for the final time.


	3. Enchanted- Taylor Swift

**A/N: I was really excited about this chapter, and almost just as excited to listen to the song for about three hours straight while I wrote (and got distracted too many times in the process). Anyway, send me some love, guys? This is the most dedicated I've been to anything in a long time. Disclaimer to any and all rights. Ps, is anyone else stoked for the expansion next week? **

**A/N 2.0: It came to my attention that there was a typo in this chapter, because half way through writing it I decided to set it in Stormwind instead of in Lordaeron, because it just made more sense in my head. Anyway, said typo has been amended, and chapter has been reposted xx**

…

_This was the very first page_

_Not where the story will end_

_My thoughts will echo your name_

_Until I see you again_

_These are the words I held back_

_As I was leaving too soon_

_I was enchanted to meet you_

…

If there was one thing Jaina Proudmoore did not have the patience for, it was parties. All the politics, the social games, the shifting eyes as everyone pretended to be something they were not. She despised the very concept of forcing laughter and faking smiles all night long when she could have been safely locked away with her books, devoting her time to something that actually _mattered_. For example, her admissions exams that were approaching faster than she cared to think about.

However, in spite of how little she wanted to attend the ball that night, she had to admit that her dress was breathtaking. Jaina stared for a long time at the reflection in the mirror, at the stranger looking back at her. With her golden hair intricately pinned up, her face lightly dusted with powder, she barely recognized herself. Her hands strayed gently over the deep violet fabrics of her silk skirts, custom tailored to fit her body perfectly. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever worn in all her life.

With a slight smile, she turned away from the mirror and took a steadying breath. Gathering the folds of the long dress in her hands, she made her way to the door of her guest chambers. If only her father hadn't been so occupied, he could have come to this pointless affair himself, and she would not have been sent to Stormwind like some offering to represent Kul Tiras. She wasn't even sure of the occasion. Still, there was really no way out of this, and no use complaining about it, so she stepped out into the corridor and promised herself that she would try to make the best of it.

…

The ballroom was an overwhelming tangle of people, some dancing gracefully while others lingered off to the sides of the room and talked. Jaina felt a ripple of fear move through her as she stood in the entrance way, digging her nails into her palms and wishing desperately that she knew a single person there. Perhaps she could just give a rapid audience to the king and sneak out without anyone else noticing her. But then she would be left to face the disappointment of her father, who was counting on her to represent their small kingdom, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him.

She finally convinced herself to step into the crowded room, hoping she could disappear into the masses without anyone recognizing who she was. But that hope was quickly shattered as a hand wrapped around her wrist. The blonde barely had a moment to react before she was all but thrust forward, and a bellowing voice announced Lady Jaina Proudmoore of Kul Tiras to the entire room. Jaina wished desperately that she had a cloak, or at least that her hair was down so that it might shield the way her cheeks were inflamed as all the guests of Stormwind stared up at her.

When she had been sufficiently mortified and their interest had faded, Jaina quickly moved out of the archway. She kept close to the wall, trying to find some solitude in the swarm of nobles. She was too focused on keeping her eyes fixated on the floor, trying to stop her blushing face and pounding heart. Which was precisely why she didn't notice the person in front of her until it was too late, and she had already crashed into him.

Jaina let out a gasp as their hands came up quickly to grab her by the arms and stop her from tripping over her gown. She looked up through her lashes and found herself staring into the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. His strong features were framed by golden hair; he looked young and boyish with the exception of the devious smirk he wore.

"S-sorry," Jaina managed to blurt out, regaining her footing and taking a step back so that he was forced to drop his hold on her. "I didn't mean-"

"It's alright, Jaina," he replied with ease. She was caught off guard by the way he addressed her by only her first name, as if they were close friends instead of two random people stumbling into each other quite literally.

Still, she managed to smile politely up at him, realizing that she was off to a terrible start at portraying what few social graces she possessed. Composing herself quickly, the blonde bowed her head a little. "I apologize, Sir. I don't know what came over me."

When a long moment of silence had passed without him replying, Jaina dared to steal another glance. For all she knew, he had already turned away, back to whatever he had been doing before her awkward clumsiness had interrupted. She was not expecting to find him grinning at her in amusement, his brows raised slightly. For some reason, that expression infuriated her in a way she had never known, and she couldn't quite place why. Maybe it was just the sheer smugness, the self-assuredness that seemed to hang in the very air around him.

Unable to resist herself, she jutted her chin up at him. "What, may I ask, is it that you find so amusing?"

Apparently, her attempts at confidence only increased whatever humor he found in this, because at her question he laughed. It was a light and musical sound, that somehow seemed to brighten the room. Jaina felt an involuntary shiver move up her spine. "You truthfully do not have any idea who I am?" He asked, his tone playful, teasing. Familiar. "I'm hurt, Jaina. I really am."

She couldn't be sure, but she was fairly convinced her heart skipped a few beats in the cavity of her chest. She narrowed her eyes slightly, studying every feature of his face, finally locking stares with his azure eyes. "...Arthas?" Her voice was so soft when she finally spoke his name, she wondered if he had even heard her over the dull roar of the ballroom.

The prince's only reply was his telltale smirk, and the next thing she knew, he was stepping forward and pulling her to his chest. It was uncharacteristic of her, and yet Jaina hugged him back, her slender arms sliding up to wrap around his broad shoulders. It had been at least five years since she had seen the prince of Lordaeron, and yet she instantly felt safe in his hold. They held the pose for a moment too long, before she finally forced herself to let go.

"I haven't seen you since we were children," she said, a smile pulling at her lips. The crowd that had seemed so imposing a few moments ago now seemed to have faded away almost entirely, leaving only her and Arthas behind. "What have you been doing? Tell me everything!"

And so he did, launching into long winded stories of all the tedious tasks he faced, the duties he carried out as he endured his training as a Paladin. Jaina, too, spoke of how she had been slaving away day and night in preparation for her exams, hoping that one day she would be worthy of joining the elusive Kirin Tor. It was so easy to slip into the playful conversation, reminiscing on the times they had been united as children, when their parents had been dealing with matters far too complex for them to understand. Each biting remark he had, she quickly countered. It was strange to think that they had really only met a handful of times and yet those times were some of her happiest memories of her childhood.

"So, you'll be coming to Dalaran soon then?" Arthas mused as he led her through the crowds towards one of the open balconies that looked over the busy city of Stormwind. As the night had pressed on, the ball goers had gotten louder, more enthusiastic and rowdy, so Jaina had suggested they go outside so they might continue their conversation. Now, Arthas has his fingers locked with her own so that he could pull her along. Usually she would have shied away from any sort of contact with a severe blush, but something about having Arthas at her side made her feel safe. Invincible.

"As long as I pass the entrance examinations," she amended, to which the young prince only rolled his eyes. Arthas remembered even when they were children how talented she had been. And though it had been an eternity since he had seen her, he had the utmost faith that she would exceed the standard requirements for getting in. And Dalaran was not all that far from his Capitol... Arthas felt a rush of excitement at the prospect that they might be reunited and have a chance to actually become close. Jaina was incredibly beautiful, and he had never met someone that it was so simple to be around, someone he could talk to for hours on end and barely even notice that any time had passed.

Once they were outside, Jaina leaned the railing of the balcony, staring out at the city below them. With all the stars aglow in the endless sky above them, the night seemed sparkling, lit with the promise of all that her future held. Arthas was at her side, pretending to take in the scenery when he was really just stealing glances at her. "It is good to see you again," he murmured then, when the silence had gone on for too long. Jaina tried to meet his gaze, but found that she could not, and was overly aware of how close their bodies were to one another. It was an unfamiliar feeling that had taken up residence in her body, this nervous excitement, this want to drag the moment out for as long as she could. She was wonderstruck at his very presence.

Back inside the castle, the celebrations were winding down. Jaina looked over her shoulder and saw the crowds had thinned substantially as people departed. A wistful sigh passed through her lips as she turned back the Arthas, telling him without a word that she truthfully did not want to go. Soon, Jaina knew that the last remnants of the night would give way to the dawn, and when the light soaked the sky, she would have to return home. Even the most perfect of nights came to an end. And she knew that it would be a long while until she saw him again.

But something told her that her thoughts would echo his name, her memory playing back the sound of his voice and the way she felt almost pulled to him as they stood together and awaited the inevitable morning. There was this feeling she couldn't shake as she glanced over and accidentally met his stunning blue eyes, this overwhelming hope that this was the first page of their story, not where it would end for them.


	4. Halo- Ann Brun

**A/N: Hello, my lovelies. Much thanks for the reviews. It's nice to know I am doing at least somewhat decent of a job at this whole endeavor. Anyway, I just was not in the mood for any angsty sadness today, so have some fluff instead. I'm just trying to postpone my homework, really… Also, casually points out that the Ann Brun version of this song is probably the best cover I've heard in ages. In order for this chapter to feel right, it has to be this version of the song. Keep sending me the love! **

…

_Hit me like a ray of sun_

_Burning through my darkest night_

_You're the only one that I want_

_Think I'm addicted to your light _

…

The most infuriating thing about falling in love with Arthas Menethil, Jaina realized, was that she had not even realized she had done it. In a matter of weeks, every single wall she had tried to put in place to keep her heart safeguarded, every single one of her carefully constructed defenses, had come tumbling down. Glancing up from the leather-bound book she was holding but only really pretending to read, she saw him standing by the window of his chambers. His gaze focused intently on the expanses of his kingdom below, the sunlight filtering in to reflect off his blonde hair.

In the cavity of her chest, her skipped a bit. She had not stood a chance against him, not in the slightest. And when he had broken through her walls, she didn't even put up a fight. Through her lashes, she watched him fiercely, taking in all of him, memorizing each muscle in his arms as he leaned into the window frame to support himself, the way his blue eyes shifted to look over at her-

A blush instantly rose across her cheeks as she tried to lower her gaze. But of course she was too late; he had already caught her in the act of shamelessly staring at him. An easy smirk spread over his face, arrogant and teasing, which only intensified her embarrassment. Turning away from the massive window, Arthas instead focused his full attention on her. "Did you come all the way here just so that you could lock yourself up and study?" He asked her, his tone light and playful. It was hard enough for the prince to tear her away from her schooling, and when he did he wanted to have her all to himself.

Without looking back up from the tome, Jaina rolled her blue eyes. "Just let me finish this chapter," she retorted. "If I dont pass those examinations, I wont be able to stay in Dalaran forever, you know." And the thought of having to leave, of being even further away from him than she was now, was too much for her to bear. Jaina could no longer even consider the idea of her life without him. Arthas had become so much a part of her, it was hard to see where she ended and he began. Two beings, tangled together perfectly.

In a few graceful strides, Arthas had crossed the room to her. With one hand resting on the arm of the chair she was curled up in, he used the other to yank her book gently out of her hold, snapping it shut and holding it out of her reach.

An offended gasp fell from Jaina's lips. "You did _not_ just lose my page," she said in a threatening tone. She tried to hold her scowl, reaching for it back, but of course she could not. Besides, having him suddenly so close to her was making her forget what she was upset with him in the first place. His face was only inches from her own, his warm breath tickling her face with each exhale. With her heart thudding away in her chest, she bit down on her bottom lip, tilting her head back until their gazes met, her bright blue eyes to his darker, navy ones. The color of the sea, she thought, and just as easy to drown in. She had no doubt that she could get lost forever in them.

The usual smug grin Arthas donned was gone now, replaced with an intensity that bore straight into her, all but tearing her apart, making a chill run up her spine. It felt as if she had been awakened by his very presence, and all the rules she had put in place for herself, he just broke right through without even looking back. This could be dangerous, she thought to herself. Falling for someone like him, someone so strong and bright and passionate. Arthas was the kind of boy that could easily make a girl forget everything she had ever wanted, until he was the only thing that existed for her.

And yet, it was a risk she was willing to take.

At some point, he had set the book aside on the table next to the chair, and had brought his hand up to cup the side of her face. Jaina felt her eyes falling shut as his thumb moved in small circles over her flesh. All else was forgotten. Her back arched just slightly when his fingers moved to run through her golden locks of hair, fisting at the back of her neck. Her eagerness earned a low chuckle from him, but even he could not ignore the lingering warmth pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"Jaina," he whispered, a voice meant only for her. The young mage forced her eyes open, looking up at him with pure adoration across her face. The light spilling forth from the window filled the room around them with an ethereal glow, illuminating him in a way that seemed more fitting than she could really appreciate in that moment. Then, before she had even a chance to reply to him, Arthas closed the distance between their lips in a deep kiss.

It was perfect, really, she thought to herself as she settled into the chair and brought one hand up to clutch desperately at the fabric of his shirt. Everything about the kiss was perfect, passionate, needy. Want and fear and lust and love all blended together, his arms around her, surrounding her with his embrace, her body pressing towards him because close was never close enough when it came to Arthas. She needed more, needed to feel his warmth and light moving through her like a ray of sun that assuredly would burn through even her darkest of nights.

She needed more, and so she didnt even make a sound when he pulled away and took her by the hand, pulling her through his chambers until they had reached his bed. Arthas pressed himself against her once more, his hand gently cupping her chin to tilt it up towards him. Jaina kissed him back with all that she had, reveling in the feeling of him against her. When he traced his tongue over her bottom lip, a slight whimper rose up from her lungs.

Arthas used his weight to push her back into the bed, and stared down at her for a long moment, taking in all her beauty and alluring innocence. At some point, he realized, he had fallen in love with her, and he hadnt even realized it until it was far, far too late. Now the idea of being without her was too much, and he needed to make her his always.

Pausing only to pull his shirt up over his head, Arthas crawled into the bed, hovering over her, straddling her narrow hips. Jaina's hands strayed up to trace the muscles of his chest and stomach, before finally hooking into the waistline of his pants. That blush he so adored had crept back over her cheeks, spread down to spark a warm fire in the pit of her stomach. He must have been able to see it in her eyes, because as he ran his hands gently up her sides, he was smirking just slightly. Usually she would have teased him for his arrogance, but now it was him that teased her, his fingers trailing across her collarbone, toying with the fabric of her robes.

He bent in to kiss her once more, replacing the previous softness and hesitation with a needy forcefulness, pleading for more. Jaina, arching her back into him, raising herself to meet him, was all too happy to give in. Her small hands grabbed onto his shoulders, holding him against her. She was fairly certain that she was addicted to him, to his touch and his light and his everything. "A-Arthas," she breathed against his lips. "Arthas, please... "

It was all she needed to say. The prince pulled back, and for a moment they lingered there locked in a deep stare. Her lips were parted, eyes wide, skin flushed. His heart was beating hard enough that she could feel it radiating through her own body. Their shared heartbeats. Two bodies, but one being. They were entwined forever, tangled up in each other and the sheets and the light of the sun spilling in from the window.

After, she would lay her head on his chest, his arm slung lazily around her waist. She would smile and sigh happily, while Arthas closed his eyes and played absently with a few strands of her long hair splayed out over her shoulders. Jaina would revel in the feeling of their bare skin brushing, the last remaining feeling of his mouth as it covered every inch of her body.

Arthas would turn his head to brush his lips against her forehead. "I love you, Jaina Proudmoore."

A small sound would of happiness would escape her throat. The arm she had resting over his body would clutch to him tighter. Everything would be perfect.

In that long gaze that passed between them, she could see all of it. She could see their whole future, their life together. And it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in all her life.

With his hands roaming all over her skin, his lips working against some particularly sensitive spot on her neck, Jaina embraced the vision of their life together. She let go of all that had been forcing her to hold back. She gave herself over fully, took the step off the ledge. It didnt even feel like falling.


	5. Take Me Over- Anew Revolution

**A/N: Hello, darlings. Thanks as always for the reviews. Please keep them coming. I like to know someone out there is reading. Anyway, consider this an experimental chapter. Have to get out of my comfort zone and all that. If it's terrible, at least I can say I tried. Woot. Also, I'm taking a brief three to four day hiatus because of Warlords this weekend, which I guess defeats the point of the whole '30 day challenge' thing, but let's be honest about our priorities here. **

…

_There's a part of me that is torn between_

_The light, the dark, the good, the bad_

_The blessed and the fiend_

_Will I lose control and let these feelings go? _

…

The wind was howling, stinging his face, but he didnt hear it, didnt feel it as he trudged along the snow-covered mountain. Climbing up higher just to fall, just to reach his defeat awaiting him at the top. Because no matter how hard he tried, he couldnt win. At some point he had acknowledged that he had already lost, lost everyone he loved and everything he had ever wanted. Lost himself. Whatever shreds remained were so torn they barely even existed.

For once, that ever-present voice in his head had fallen silent. It was drowned out by the sound of his heavy footsteps that echoed his pounding heart, and the sound of a thousand memories he couldnt seem to repress anymore.

For once, the only voices whispering to him were the ghosts of the past, coming back to torment him one last time. A reminder of all his mistakes, all the choices he had made that had brought him here. So much pain, so many people he had let down. Now he was all alone in the cold, waiting for the sun to rise upon the endless darkness that had become his very being.

Now there was no turning back.

His final choice.

_So close. _He was so close. And so tired, and broken and defeated. He could no longer fight to stop this from taking him over. Just a few more steps, and he could finally let go.

Someone had said he would find only death in the cold.

_Just a few more steps_.

This was close enough to it.

A strong gust of icy wind blew against him, causing him to sway slightly, causing his gossamer white strands of hair to dance around his pallid face. He reached up to push them away, and as he looked up he saw it there. It was looming before him in the most imposing way possible, the crystalline ice just clear enough to display that damned armor. He froze where he stood and stared up at it for a long time, saw all that it held for him.

_Return the blade. _

At his side, Frostmourne was practically whimpering at the attention of her master.

_Complete the circle. _

He took a step forward.

_Release me from this prison_.

He raised the cursed sword, felt its weight and its power in his hands. He was so close, and then he could just let go of the pain and the memories and all that made him weak. Just let it go.

It barely took any force to drive it through the ice that encased the throne. _My throne_. His final choice. After all the fighting, all the suffering, all the effort, letting go was effortless.

…

"Arthas! Wait up!" Jaina bunched the skirts of her dress up in her hands. She let out a giddy laugh as she chased him down the hallways, her blonde hair in tangled strands around her face, her small feet padding against the stone floors.

She slid to a stop as she watched the young prince turn abruptly into a room. Scurrying up to his side, she grabbed onto his arm to stop herself from tripping on the hems of her gown. If Arthas noticed, he didnt say anything. His wide blue eyes were transfixed on the throne in the center of the open room. To the pair of children, it seemed to tower over them. To Arthas especially, it seemed much larger than it actually was. He stared up at it for a long time, saw all that it held for him. He was barely even old enough to comprehend it all.

Jaina was still holding onto his arm, both her little hands wrapped around it. "You're going to be a wonderful king," she told him softly, grinning up at him. "The best king of all time."

Arthas returned her smile, pulling free of her grasp as he took a step towards the throne. Glancing back over his shoulder at the girl, he asked, "You really think so?" He desperately wished he didnt sound so unsure of himself.

But Jaina nodded eagerly. "You really are," she assured him. Then, sticking her tongue out at him, she added, "But you'll still have to do whatever I tell you."

Arthas rolled his eyes and laughed at her. "But a king doesnt have to listen to anyone!"

Jaina took a purposeful stride towards him. "My mommy said a even a king has to answer to the queen," she told him bluntly.

The prince of Lordaeron crinkled his nose up in disgust. "Ew, gross!" Jaina was his best friend. The last thing he wanted to do was imagine having to marry her one day. Then, a wicked grin came over his boyish face. "If you want to be the queen then you have to catch me first!" As soon as the words left his lips, he took off running out of the throne room as fast as he could.

"Arthas, that's not fair!" Jaina shouted after him. She once more gathered her dress up in a rather unladylike manner, and, kicking her satin slippers right off her feet, sprinted after him, determined to catch him and claim her prince.

…

For a long moment, he was frozen. The wind was howling, stinging his face, but he didnt hear it, didnt feel it. Frostmourne was humming in his hands, whimpering at his caress.

The helm of the Lich King lay at his feet.

_So close_. _Just let go_.

Casting Frostmourne aside, he bent down carefully, lifted the helm with trepidation. It was only steel; it couldnt hurt him. But it was so much more than that. It was his fate, or his choice, or something that fell somewhere between the two. It was his burden, his curse. Whatever it was, there was no mistaking that it was his.

Arthas glanced over his shoulder at the frozen throne. Some faded memory from childhood flickered across his mind, but it was gone before he could grasp onto it.

It wasnt exactly the throne he had imagined.

But it would have to do.


	6. No Light- Florence and the Machine

**A/N: I HAVE SURVIVED LAUNCH WEEKEND. Barely. I wasn't what was going to get to me first- sleep deprivation or the queue times. Anyone else have to suffer through them? Once we got in, we were too afraid to log back out, and so we stayed up for the rest of the weekend. Anyway, I digress. I missed you guys xx Hope this makes up for my absence. Side note: I have a mighty love for the use of repetition. Also, I sort of took a different approach for this song, and based it more on the emotional feelings of listening to this song than actually incorporating the lyrics. That is all. **

…

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_Tell me what you want me to say_

…

Jaina Proudmoore had never really been the kind of girl that cried. In fact, she struggled to even recall the last time she had shed a tear. And yet, right now she curled up on her bed sobbing, the uncontrollable kind that shook her entire body, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make it stop.

As soon as they had been disbanded, she had teleported herself back to Dalaran, and since then she had been crying relentlessly. Behind closed eyes, she could see nothing but that moment, that scene playing over on repeat. Each time she hoped it might get a little easier to stand, but it only seemed to be getting harder. And she could hear Arthas' cold and uncaring voice, ordering Uther and the other Paladins to leave him. And she could see him standing tall, looking out over the town that he was about to destroy. And she could feel his eyes upon her as she turned to leave, questioning, confused, maybe even afraid, except he couldn't really care that much because he hadn't come chasing after her like she had been hoping.

With each passing moment, her thoughts became more tangled, and Jaina wasn't even sure if her memories were right anymore, or if she had replayed that moment over so many times that parts had become tangled up and blurred together. What if she had stayed? Would he have still gone through with it? Why didn't she try to stop him? No, she just left, just abandoned him there all alone, and it had been so painfully difficult to do, except it couldn't have been that hard because she hadn't turned back even once.

Eventually, the crying stopped. Maybe she just ran out of tears to cry. Maybe she just realized that it wasn't going to change anything, her laying in her bed sobbing over lost lives and lost innocence. Things that could never been reclaimed, once they were gone. Jaina pushed herself up and wiped roughly at her face with the back of her hand. She ran her fingers through her mess of blonde locks and tried to smooth them out, but that was a hopeless prospect.

What she needed to do was distract herself. Because the kind of answers she wanted, she had a feeling she might not get. Because whatever chances her and Arthas may have had, they were surely ruined now. Yes, she was aware they had been broken up for months. But being reunited with him, fighting at his side, laughing in the light of the fire, it had all been so easy. It had all been so perfect. They had always been able to make a dire situation bearable just by being around each other. The past few days, she had been entertaining the idea that maybe when all this business with the plague was taken care of, they could go back to the way they had been. The way they were supposed to be.

But after what had happened in Stratholme that afternoon, Jaina was fairly certain they would not be working things out. Arthas would see her leaving him there as a betrayal. And she would be unable to look past the horrific things that had been done. She recalled the pained expression, the agony in his voice as he realized that the village was contaminated, that there was no hope for the people there, except he couldn't have been that upset because he hadn't even tried to see if there was another way.

Jaina finally worked up the energy to cross the room to her intricate wood desk, reaching for one of the open spell books resting atop it. She could lose herself in her studies, just as she always did when the real world became much too difficult for her to handle. Her fingers, however, had barely collided with the pages when she heard a gentle knock at her chamber door. Then, before she even had time to reply, it was being pushed open, and she was wishing she had locked it because the last thing she wanted to do was see anyone.

The last person she was expecting to see walk in was Arthas.

He looked exhausted, and maybe a little defeated. His armor was ruined, covered in blood and ash, all the signs that confirmed what she had already known. His blonde hair was hanging loosely around his face, even messier than her own. She thought of telling him she loved him, of throwing herself into his arms, except she couldn't meet his gaze and so she forced herself to stay where she was.

There was a moment of silence, the space between what she thought and what she actually said. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, the very best she could come up with was a whispered hello, and then, "What are you doing here?"

Arthas didn't reply, just closed the door and locked it after him. His warhammer was slung across his back. She just barely managed to ignore the blood on its silver edges. At long last, he turned to look at her, and only then did she realize she had been holding her breath, and when she finally remembered how to breathe, it was gasping and chaotic. She was hoping that maybe he would come and take her into his arms, hold her and tell her how sorry he was, tell her that everything was going to be alright, tell her that he loved her. But he was just standing there watching her carefully like he was waiting for some kind of answer he probably wouldn't get.

When he finally opened his mouth to speak, all that he said was, "I'm leaving."

Her initial reaction was confusion, _but you just walked in the door_, and she was fairly sure it showed on her face because she felt her brows knit together. "What do you mean, leaving?" _And how could you have really done what you did today, just slaughtering all of those innocent people? How could you consider that doing what was best for the people? And how can you stand there and act like your heart isn't broken over the fact that we aren't together anymore? _That last thought should have paled in comparison to the others, yet there was no denying it tore at her just as much.

Arthas had not moved an inch away from the door, as if he was hoping to make a quick escape. "I'm leaving," he repeated. "I'm going to Northrend."

Again, there was that confusion. Jaina involuntarily took a slow step towards him, testing the waters to see how he might react. If he would welcome her presence or shy away from it. So far, he was just standing there motionlessly. "Arthas," she murmured softly. Another few steps. Close enough now that she might reach out and touch him. When he still didn't move away from her, Jaina reached up to gently push some of the matted hair away from his face. He kept flickering between looking utterly broken and completely defiant. She wasn't sure which was the act. With her fingers still resting gently against the side of his face, she letting out a small sigh. "Arthas, what could possibly be in Northrend that is so imminent, it drags you away from here?" _From me._

"Mal'ganis!" He snapped. She half expected him to stamp his foot and pout like a child, except he just stared at her with slightly narrowed eyes. Whatever light had once lit his bright blue eyes was gone, and she couldn't help but take it as a bad sign.

"Arthas," she said again, this time a bit more impatiently. "You _cannot_ just run off on a suicide mission like some-"

"Do not proceed to tell me what I can and cannot do!" He cut her off roughly, loud enough that she actually flinched against the impact of the words. He finally pulled away from her touch, turning sharply, causing her to snatch her hand back. "I'm not going to sit back and watch the rest of my people die. I'm doing what I have to do, Jaina. I thought you of all people would support me."

Those words stung her particularly hard. She had promised him so many times that she would always stand by his side. Today, she thought, was the first time she had ever broken that promise.

The last thing she wanted to do was fight with him. If anyone knew how stubborn the crowned prince could be, it was her. She knew that the more she fought him, the more she pushed him, he would only push back, only become more convinced that he was right. If she was going to convince him that this was a foolish mission, one where more than likely he would not survive. That particular thought sent a small shiver of terror up her mind. She couldn't bear to lose him, not when she was so sure there was a way they could work everything out and do all the things they had promised to do. She may have broken one promise to him that day, but that didn't mean she wanted to break all the other ones. And there were so many, so many things they had sworn they would do together. Things they could never do if he ran off and met his death in the frigid north of Azeroth.

Summoning up the last of her bravery, Jaina once again closed the distance between them. She reached out, finding his hands, taking them in her own. He left small, ashy fingerprints on the delicate skin of her tiny hands as he ran his thumbs over them, unable to resist. Because whether he would ever admit it or not, Arthas missed her too. And for the briefest of moments, she saw that in his expression. The revelation made her heart swell with agony and the need to be close to him, to press herself against him and never leave his side again. Just like she promised. "Please," she whispered. "Please don't go. I'll do anything to make you stay."

Arthas hesitated only a moment before pulling her in against his chest. It felt so safe, so familiar having her there. Once when things had been simpler, he was so convinced he could keep her there forever, except then everything had gotten so out of hand and now even though she was right in his arms there was all this unseen distance keeping them apart.

"I have to go," he said, but he sounded uncertain and Jaina honestly didn't know if he was trying to convince her or himself. His hand strayed up so that he could trace his fingertips along her jawline, over her slightly parted lips, back up into her hair. Arthas used his soft hold on her to tilt her head back so that he could close the distance between them, kissing her gently, then harder, and Jaina was gripping tightly to his clothes and kissing him back with all that she had, except that there were tears stinging her eyes because this was the kind of goodbye kiss that didn't promise another one would ever come.

When at last they broke apart, she was looking up at him with wide eyes, breathing a little heavier than before. "Arthas, please," she begged once more, hating the desperation in her voice.

He held her gaze for a painfully long and quiet moment. "Come with me," he blurted then, so suddenly Jaina wasn't even sure she had heard him right. "Help me do this. For _our_ people." That subtle remark was not lost on her.

Still, she shook her head. She wouldn't go, couldn't go, one of those. Maybe both. In the light of day spilling in through the parted curtains, the revelation dawned on her that she couldn't choose what stayed and what faded away. At some point, her blind loyalty to follow him had disappeared, and Jaina knew she had to follow her heart this time instead. It was just a hard reality to face tat for once her heart wasn't pointing her towards him.

"Jaina," Arthas said then, more urgently. "Jaina, there is no other way. I'm asking you to help me. Please come with me."

It was clear to her that, in his mind, this was the only way to get it right. He would not bother looking for any alternative. He would run headlong into danger trying to prove to himself or whoever that he was capable. And it was clear that he wanted an answer right now from her, but the fact of the matter was that she was tired and emotionally drained and this was a conversation she just couldn't have tonight. And if Arthas refused to wait for her, refused to hear her out, that was something she just could not control.

She lowered her blue eyes to the floor. "Tell me what you want me to say, Arthas," she muttered quietly.

"Say you'll come with me."

Now it was her that felt her emotions bubbling up, impatience and frustration and pain as she realized that she was losing him once and for all. There would be no working it out, no getting back together. He was going to leave and there was nothing she could do to stop him. She was done begging and pleading. She just didn't have the strength anymore. When she spoke, the words were so soft she wasn't even sure they actually made it past her lips. "I can't, Arthas. I'm sorry."

The prince nodded once, slowly, and was already turning away. Jaina wanted little more than to throw herself at him, drag him back to her, stop him from ever leaving. But she didn't move a muscle, just watched his hand lingering over the door handle, ready to make a quick escape. He glanced back over at her, their gazes locking just for a moment. No light in his once bright blue eyes. Just this emptiness that mirrored the feeling of her own vacant, hollow chest. "I love you, Jaina," he told her simply, except she really wished he hadn't because all he was doing was making this so much harder. "Whatever happens, please don't forget that."

She didn't realize her nails were digging into the palms of her hands until she felt a sudden, sharp pain. "I love you too," she whispered in reply, except by the time the words made it out, he was already gone.


	7. Christmas(Please Come Home)-Mariah Carey

**A/N: Wow, I am so sorry I have been away. Things were so crazy with moving and finals and the holiday hecticness. Anyway, I wasn't going to do this, but a conversation with my boyfriend last night sort of inspired it, and my favorite Christmas song happened to work alright in relevance. So, I hope this makes up for me being gone. I am planning on getting back into the swing of this now that things will be calming down! Happy holidays to all of my lovely readers xx **

…

_If there was a way _

_I'd hold back these tears_

_But it's Christmas Day _

_Baby, please come home _

_..._

Considering that Winter Veil was supposed to be a happy time, Jaina probably should not have been curled up on the cold ground of the Stormwind Cemetery crying. The city was aglow with lights, and a crisp wind was blowing the snow through the streets, but she didn't notice a thing, couldn't feel anything but the silent tears rolling over her cheeks. It was supposed to be a happy time, but Jaina couldn't have felt more hopeless and alone.

It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. It wasn't supposed to hurt at all. It had been a year since the slaying of the Lich King, and even longer since everything had fallen apart, and yet her heart felt like it was breaking all over again for the first time. No matter how far she came, how strong she might have been, every year on Winter Veil she found herself falling apart over things that shouldn't have hurt her anymore.

Lifting her head just a little, she reached out to trail her fingertips over the Lordaeron crest that was engraved into the side of the tomb. It had been risky, bringing it here to the capital, but Jaina had insisted. It wasn't his fault, she had pleaded. Whatever had happened, whatever he had done, it hadn't been his fault. She needed to believe that if she ever planned on getting on with her life. The boy she had grown up with, the man she had loved, he never could have done those things.

Jaina tried to choke back a sob, but a few more tears pushed themselves free. As she wiped at her face with her sleeve, a hand fell suddenly upon her shoulder, causing her to jump with surprise.

"Jaina," a low voice spoke to her. She lifted her head to see the dark eyes of Varian looking down on her, something close to sympathy in the expression he wore. His heavy cloak was pulled in around him, his guards were nowhere to be seen, and for once he was stripped of the armor he almost always wore. "What are you doing out here? You're going to get sick."

In spite of the redness of her eyes that gave away just what she had been doing, she managed to muster a smile for her old friend. It was weak and forced, but it was the best she could do. "The same thing you're doing," she murmured. She was unable to stop her blue eyes from flickering to the massive and ornate memorial in place for the long dead Queen Tiffin. Just as Varian was unable to prevent his own gaze from following her, bringing a new air of sadness over him.

"Every year I think it will get easier," the king muttered quietly. It was strange to see him like this, when he was always the face of stern severity, always the stone cold warrior that had long since learned to conceal any sign of weakness. But Jaina had seen him break down before, had seen him completely shattered to the point where even she wasn't sure he would be able to pick himself back up. Just as he had seen her do the same. Neither of them had ever held it against the other, never considered them weak for allowing themselves to feel the full effect of the damages that had been done.

"It doesn't," Jaina replied simply. When Varian held out a hand to her, she took it, allowing herself to be pulled up to her feet. She smoothed out the skirts of her robes and pushed her long hair away from her face. "Arth-" she began, but cut herself off because of the pressing weight she felt in her chest at the mere thought of his name. "He loved winter. Loved everything about it, really. Winter Veil was always a huge deal to him, and he never slacked on making sure it was celebrated properly. The entire capital was aglow, and there were parties every night."

She closed her eyes for a moment longer than necessary, allowing herself to recall the memories she usually worked so hard to shut out. Most of the time, they brought only pain to her. But now, recalling how simple things had been then, sneaking out late even if she had a exam in the morning, dancing all night even if she hated to dance, huddling by the fire to stay warm as he held her against his chest, the ghost of a smile crossed her lips. In a way, those were the happiest memories of her life, even if they had the power to make her the saddest.

Opening her eyes, she saw Varian staring at the ground, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Jaina had no doubt that he too was indulging in his own flashbacks, recalling his own painful memories with Tiffin. She extended a hand to cup his cheek gently, the sudden coolness of her flesh against his drawing him back into the moment. He lifted his chin but didn't pull away from her touch. For as long as he had known her, Jaina's presence had offered him some sense of comfort. Even when they were at each other's throats and drowning in political discord, he took comfort in knowing she was there. Maybe it was just her generally collected and calm nature, or the familiarity of someone he had known for so long.

"Come now," she spoke softly to him. A particularly strong breeze blew around them, tugging at her robes and causing her to shiver. "It's not doing us any good to stand out here freezing."

After a moment of hesitation, Varian nodded. He looked over his shoulder one last time at the grave of his wife, bowing his head, silently telling her that he loved her, that he would always love her no matter how much time had gone by. Then he turned away, intent on leaving the past behind him, at least until tomorrow morning. Holding out a hand, he felt Jaina's slender fingers lace with his own, and the two began walking back towards the castle.

"Do you think they know?" He asked, when the silence had become too heavy for him to handle any longer.

A slight frown crossed Jaina's face at the unexpected question. "Do they know...what? That we come to visit? That we miss them?"

Varian shrugged a little. She swore she saw a slight blush creep over his cheeks, but knew he would never admit to it. "Both, I guess."

Jaina bit down on her bottom lip, thinking over his words. She wanted very much to believe that somewhere out there, the prince she had once loved with all her heart was watching over her, but honestly it didn't seem that likely. Still, Winter Veil was supposed to be a happy time, a time of wonder and magic and hope, so she gave his hand a tight squeeze, tilting her head over to rest against his broad shoulder. "Of course they know," she replied lightly.

Varian did his best to smile back at her, turning his head to the side so he could press his lips softly to the top of her head. He seldom expressed his emotions, even to someone he had known his entire life, but Jaina knew what he meant all the same. "Happy Winter Veil, Jaina. Thanks for...you know. Everything."

They walked in silence the rest of the way, but it was a comfortable silence, and Jaina felt much better than she had that morning. This time, when she smiled, it didn't feel so forced. "So," she said, when they had finished ascending the grand staircase into the keep, the guards saluting them as they passed. "What did you get for Anduin?" Her nephew, as she referred to him, was growing up faster than she cared to admit, and she couldn't have been more proud of him. At twelve years old, he was already showing a promising beginning as both a priest and a ruler.

Varian pulled away from her, a sly smirk taking over his face, making him look quite childish and devious. The look made Jaina's eyes go wide with concern. The king called out to one of the guards, telling him to bring in the present for the Prince. A moment later, Jaina heard the unmistakable echo of hooves against the polished stone floors of the castle, and a servant appeared, pulling a silky white pony by the reins.

Jaina's bright blue eyes flickered between the horse and Varian. His expression turned sheepish. "I just...after what happened last year, I was thinking about when Arth- when he got his pony, and how happy he was. Probably the happiest I ever saw him. And I thought, that's how I will always remember him. That smiling, clumsy little boy who was hugging his first pony."

Jaina swallowed hard, blinking away the tears that were stinging at the corners of her eyes. Against all formalities, she threw herself at him, going up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. No words were spoken, but none needed to be said. They stayed like that for a few long minutes, his hands on her back to hold her against him.

When the moment passed, and he let her go, she looked back at the whinnying horse. "What do you think he will name it?"

Varian scoffed. "Probably something like Peacekeeper."

Rolling her eyes, Jaina smacked him playfully on the arm. "Come on," she said. "Let's go wake him up." She started to walk away, pausing to scratch the pony gently behind the ear and run her long fingers through his perfectly brushed mane. She imagined Anduin rushing in and seeing the horse, imagined the look of pure joy and innocence on his face, all the things that Winter Veil was supposed to be about. When she closed her eyes, she could still envision the way Arthas- she was finally able to think on his name without a stabbing feeling in her chest- had looked when he had dragged her by the hand to meet his own pony. And she smiled, and knew that in spite of everything, she was going to be alright, because nobody would ever be able to take those memories away from her.


	8. In the Morning- Norah Jones

**A/N: I swear I havent forgotten about this xD Just...decided to replay Ocarina of Time, forgot how frustrating that game is because I havent played in years, and so that's been basically devouring all of my free time. Anyway, here goes nothing. Insert usual disclaimer here. I do wish I owned Arthas. Ugh. He's probably a lot of work to take care of, though. **

…

_My girlfriend tried to help me _

_To get you off my mind _

_She tried a little tea and sympathy _

_To get me to unwind _

_..._

Jaina lifted the tea kettle with shaking hands, watching the water pour out into her cup. It was white, fragile, painted carefully with small gold flowers, and one of the few indulgences she had allowed herself to bring along from back home.

Home. It seemed to her such a strange, foreign concept now. Kul Tiras had been her home, and then Daloran, and for a few perfect months, the vast capital of Lorderon. Now, she doubted she could return to any of those places. She was homeless, stranded, separated by the massive ocean from all that she had ever known.

Swirling her finger above the tea cup, she stirred the scalding liquid without ever touching it. Her mind was spinning right along with it, thoughts that she couldn't seem to control. She hated to admit how much time she spent thinking of Arthas, even still, when so much had happened and there was so much distance between them.

What if she had been wrong to turn away from him? Once she had been so sure that she would follow him to the ends of the world. But as it turned out, there were places she refused to go, even for him.

Pushing her long blonde hair away from her face, she shook her head a little. She felt foolish for wasting so many thoughts on him. Surely Arthas hated her. She knew him, knew how stubborn and headstrong he was. She knew that if by some miracle they ever saw each other again, he would never forgive her for leaving him.

Jaina lifted the cup delicately to her lips, wincing at the heat rolling over her tongue. She should have gone with him. Even if she hadn't understood, hadn't agreed with his decisions, she should have stood by his side. Wasn't that what you did when you loved someone? Supported them though even the darkest of times? If something happened to him that she could have prevented somehow she would never forgive herself.

"What happened to him?"

Startled at the sudden voice, Jaina whirled around, just barely managing to keep her hold on the tea cup. She watched as a few precious drops sloshed over the edge and onto the surface of the table. Seeing the tall and slender form of Tyrande Whisperwind in the doorway, she relaxed slightly. "It's nothing," she murmured. She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince the High Priestess or herself, but either way the words weren't very convincing.

Tyrande approached the human girl with a wistful smile, gesturing to the seat across from her as if to ask permission to join her. Tucking a silky strand of golden hair behind her ear, she nodded quickly. "I know that look in your eyes, girl," the elf said simply as she lowered herself down to the stool with a graceful flourish. "Do not try and lie to me. I have too many years on you."

In spite of herself and the whole mess her life had become, a chuckle passed through Jaina's lips at the condescending tone with which Tyrande spoke. But the smile quickly turned to a frown and in mere seconds Jaina's eyes were welled up with tears that threatened to spill over at any moment.

Tyrande watched with patience, and she had to admit, some amazement as the girl's emotions shifted so rapidly. Perhaps it was just her age having permitted her ample time to practice composure and control. Lowering her glowing gaze to where her hands were clasped in her lap, she allowed the human a few moments to recollect herself.

"I'm sorry," Jaina murmured at last, wiping away the stray tears that had broken free. She glanced up at the elf, but felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she considered how childish she must have seemed to her. Instead, she refocused her attention onto her cup, but found that she had emptied it without even noticing.

Jaina reached for the kettle to her side. It had cooled now, indicating just how much time she had spent trapped inside her own mind. Wrapping her hands around the container, she summoned a mild fire spell to warm the tea once again. Tyrande eyed her carefully, almost suspiciously.

With her cup newly refilled, Jaina took a lengthy drink, her blue eyes flitting away from the older woman across from her. "It's just- ," she started, cutting herself off abruptly as she tried to find the precise words to say. Tyrande supposed it was because her life was so short and time so precious that she couldn't afford to waste any of it on misspoken words.

"It's just," the human girl repeated, swallowing hard. "Have you ever thought that you know somebody, knew everything about them, and then one day they do something so completely unexpected, something you never imagined they could have done? And you want to believe it isn't true, the person you lov- knew- could never do those things… except they did."

Jaina realized she was ranting and quickly snapped her mouth shut. Tyrande, however, barely seemed to notice. She was staring off at the wall, but Jaina could see in her eyes that she was looking far beyond it, at something that wasn't even there, something that existed now only in her memories.

After what seemed like a drawn out eternity, the elf cleared her throat. "Yes," she murmured softly. "I have."

Another long moment of silence in which Jaina bowed her head so that her hair could shield her blushing face. It was apparent that Tyrande was lost in her thoughts, just as Jaina herself had been earlier. And while she wanted to offer some comfort, or at the very least ask if she was okay, the High Priestess didn't strike her as the type who would welcome others into her own head. So, she remained silent until at last she could no longer stand it, until her own painful thoughts of… of him were threatening to overcome her once again, she reached for her kettle with shaking hands and quickly blurted, "Do you want some tea?" The question came out high-pitched and frantic, and it wasn't until after she spoke that she realized she didn't have a second cup to offer.

Tyrande blinked rapidly, a few too many times, and turned back towards the blonde. "No," she said, a small and strained smile turning up the corners of her lips. "Thank you, though." In a smooth and fluid motion, the elven priestess rose to her feet, smoothing out the silky white skirts of her robes. "I should be going."

Jaina nodded once, her blue eyes following the other woman as she retreated. Only when she had reached the archway did Jaina look back over her shoulder, her voice calling out softly.

Tyrande did not bother to look back.

"Does… does it ever get easier?" Jaina asked, her voice feeble and small and hardly audible at all.

Tyrande closed her eyes, trying to shut out a thousand memories better left alone, forgotten, buried somewhere so far down the light would never find them. Her fingers tightened into little fists that clutched at the fabric of her gowns, and for a split second, she swore she could hear the whispered sound of her name, low and sweet under the approving glow of the moonlight, the feeling of a lingering kiss on her skin, and the bright flash of glowing amber eyes.

"No," she whispered, her own eyes snapping open widely, the telling sting of tears in the corners. "It does not."


End file.
